Author: Ramona Levacy Billingslea

I am a 50-something Texan with a feisty cat and a supportive husband of 25+ years. With a Master's degree in English with an emphasis on creative writing, I have taught creative writing at Texas Tech, won awards for my writing and been blessed to be mentored by Horn Professor and poet Dr. Walt McDonald. I earn a living by helping my husband's family run a health food store, but my avocation is writing. I hope you enjoy reading about some of my triumphs and tragedies as I continue to work on figuring out what life is all about and on growing my ability to share my writing. May your own journey be a blessed one.

Uncategorized

For National Poetry Writing Month #5

Posted on April 5, 2013April 5, 2013 by Ramona Levacy Billingslea

Eyes Full of Wonder

At Disney’s California Adventure “World of Color” Show

What makes us so quick to point out
flaws in each other, our words like bullets
ripping through yielding flesh?

What if we looked for the wonder
in others, like the eager way we’ll stand
for hours waiting to glimpse

the blast of colored water, shot
like cannons into the air above us
at a theme-park show, thirty minutes of awe

that we sacrificed hours and hard-earned
dollars to gawk and laud? Do we mock
the water for its splashing, or whine

about the night’s chill? No, our eyes
grow round with need, willing to believe
anything, our sighs for our ears only.

If only we could see beyond ourselves
with the same kind of love we look upon
the lights and fire of the planned pageantry,

if only the moats our eyes bear willingly
would not blind us to the glassy, glowing spectacle
that is this crazy, beloved world.

Ramona Levacy
April 5, 2013

Uncategorized

For National Poetry Writing Month #4

Posted on April 4, 2013April 4, 2013 by Ramona Levacy Billingslea

THE COWBOY: A TRUE STORY

The leather where he sits
creaks in time to rhythms
his mount alone has mastered.

He is no hero, no rugged mass
of chiseled steel with dimples that charm,
but young and alone, the only

age too wet behind the ears
to know better than these endless nights
riding fences. The distant streaks

of lightening promise drenched misery or death,
his lone friend a dumb beast
prone to flight and always itchy

to be fed. No mother dreams this
for her baby, but he has long since
forgotten the feel of her soft lips

against his forehead, except perhaps
in lullabies he sings nights,
his cattle bumping bodies round and dusty,

his tuneless voice the difference
between a deadly stampede or a sunrise
filled with stiff coffee and his cloudy breath.

Poetry

National Poetry Writing Month #3

Posted on April 3, 2013April 3, 2013 by Ramona Levacy Billingslea

Feline Logic

Lapping threads of raindrops from eaves
weathered beyond repair, their creaking crevices
evidence of owners long-since buried,
he too exists without an owning,
his past and future looped
in the now,

in the flick of his quick, pink tongue
against the cold, unsure pinging of this day’s
gift from the sky, his ears pinned
in different directions, this skill,
like so many he has mastered,
his only defense of his perilous place
on this food chain.

Today is all he has ever had,
is all he will ever know
of an un-shrunk belly and the warm earth,
pawed and circled to fullness,
that is his definition of happy.

He leaps from the worn fence, his thirst
already forgotten. One front paw stretches
and then another, his backside rising
in a curve that could only be a gift
from His maker. He crouches
into the stealth that has brought him this far,
sniffs the air with practiced nostrils,
and steps into the new,

his knowing the envy
of every someone who has lain awake
counting unhatched chickens
or re-living torrents of emotion
like streams that flow forever.

Ramona Levacy
April 3, 2013

Poetry

Like A Drop Of Wonder

Posted on April 2, 2013April 2, 2013 by Ramona Levacy Billingslea

What about the frothy water,
churning molecules from mostly murky depths,
makes even landlocked hearts flutter?

Is it the broad horizon, stretched into white,
broken only by the slick backs of mammals
grown huge and perfect in a world
even man has not yet conquered?

Or is it the promise of something
undiscovered, a final country so vast
that even what tickles our bare toes
as they wiggle in the uncountable
are drops of salty knowing that will
come and go a thousand times
before we pass into the realm of no more?

This world where balance equals motion,
where survival means wind shifting,
belies the challenge of land living,
makes us feel our smallness and face
our own knobby knees.

Even if the cool wind touches
our salty skin like a whisper,
even when the silence thunders
like the voice of God.

Ramona Levacy
April 2, 2013

Poetry, Writing

For National Poetry Writing Month

Posted on April 1, 2013April 1, 2013 by Ramona Levacy Billingslea

Because Poetry IS Music

Having neither time nor energy,
but only desire fueled by love
of words that dangle on the page
waiting for breath,

I fall with arms
wide-open into the black cavern
of this promise to wax poetic
daily for a month, celebrating
fellow dreamers, those who hope

with total spirit, whose hearts
are worn at the edges,
exposed on sleeves threadbare
but comfortable, living in skins
to which mostly loneliness
clings, who labor

for the right word as other men
sweat blood, all for the tinkle
of a syllable from lips whose masters
understand the value of sound
produced like ivory lovingly fingered.

Ramona Levacy
April 1, 2013

[A special note to my “followers:” If the title, tag, and poem weren’t clues enough, let me explain that I have decided to take up the challenge of writing a poem a day in April in honor of it being National Poetry Writing Month. I still plan to do my weekly post and apologize in advance for the extra emails you will get of poetry this month if you don’t particularly care for this genre. Thanks in advance for giving it a shot. Ramona 🙂 ]

Christianity, Faith

HE’s Alive!

Posted on March 31, 2013March 31, 2013 by Ramona Levacy Billingslea

This is our day to celebrate the greatest moment in Christian history: the moment when Christ rose again! Because He rose again, because of the faith of His disciples in the messages He preached to spread the truth of that resurrection, we are all given the gift of grace that, once accepted, ensures our own salvation.

I have concentrated my writing efforts in the realm of prose more often of late, but at the core of me is the heart of a poet and songwriter. One of the most stirring songs about the experience of the disciples in the days after the very worst day of their lives (the day when the One they thought would lead them to victory in a literally-earthly kingdom was instead humiliated and slaughtered right before their very eyes), tells the narrative of what it was like to discover that, rather than being defeated, Christ had indeed triumphed. The song is “He’s Alive,” by Don Francisco.

It begins right in the thick of things:

The gates and doors were barred
And all the windows fastened down
I spent the night in sleeplessness
And rose at every sound
Half in hopeless sorrow
And half in fear the day
Would find the soldiers breakin’ through
To drag us all away

Mary arrives to inform the disciples she has found an empty grave! Everyone runs to the cemetery to see for themselves. Back from the indeed empty tomb, Peter thinks about all of the things he has done to actually disappoint Jesus. But, just when Peter is at his lowest point, Christ arrives to literally raise Peter from his fetal position and show the apostle the absolute love that Christ feels for all of us, a love so grand that He was willing to die, suffer the ignominies of hell and fight His way back so that, through His sacrifice, we all might be saved.

If you want to read the full, stirring lyrics for yourself, please use the link below. (I don’t want to give them to you here and infringe on Mr. Francisco’s copyrights.)

“He’s Alive” lyrics

If you want to hear a truly powerful performance of the song, I highly recommend Dolly Parton’s recording. It appeared in her “White Limousine” album. I never fail to listen to it without getting goosebumps by the end of the piece.

In 1980, Francisco received the Dove Award for “He’s Alive.” The website, Songfacts.com, explains:

Francisco’s original intention when writing the song was to tell it from the perspective of the Apostle Thomas. He planned to set it in the room where the disciples were when Jesus appeared to them and spoke to Thomas. However he couldn’t make it work, so he tried instead to do it from Peter’s perspective. By putting a lot of his deepest feelings into Peter’s experience he crafted a consummate telling of the Resurrection story, which ended up as his best known tune.
(from Songfacts.com)

I do not come from a very emotive family. But we do know how to whoop it up for a great sports play, a patriotic movie ending, or a well-played fiddle tune. Today is the day to whoop it up for the greatest “play” of all. As Francisco puts it:

He’s alive yes He’s alive
Hallelujah He’s alive
He’s alive and I’m forgiven
Heaven’s gates are open wide
He’s alive He’s alive He’s alive
I believe it He’s alive
Sweet Jesus

Embrace the joy of His living today with no restraints. And if you truly believe it, live every day by putting proof to today’s celebrations. Love like you believe it. Remember that the love that “shone out from Him like sunlight in the skies” toward Peter in the song shines for you too. Do your best through the grace of God to shine that love on everyone you meet.

Yee-hah, He’ ALIVE!

Christianity, Faith

Why Easter Trumps Christmas

Posted on March 25, 2013 by Ramona Levacy Billingslea

Christmas and Easter each have different reasons to bring about celebration. Why both of them are vitally important to us, I would argue that Easter’s reason edges out Christmas. And, yes, I know we actually couldn’t have one without the other. Still, here are the reasons that I think Easter gives us just a smidgen more to celebrate.

On Christmas, we celebrate the fact that God loved us so much, He came to earth to live like one of us in the form of His Son, Jesus Christ. Some people have trouble with the concept of God in the form of the Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I read recently a really interesting metaphor to help us understand this concept (sorry, I can’t remember where I read it to give full credit). Think about the sun and all the power and life it brings to our planet. The sun itself is visible in the sky. The rays that we can’t see give life to plants. We also feel the heat the sun provides on our skin. The Son and the Holy Spirit are functioning like the heat and UV rays of the sun as far as the relationship between all three are concerned. Like the sun and its physical properties, almighty God exists in the three forms we know as Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

As Christ walked on this earth, He referred to Himself as the Son of God. He also told us that He would send the Holy Spirit to be with us when He no longer was physically walking the planet. God, despite what the deists or materialists might say, is in everything and about everything that we experience in this world, if we will just open our minds and hearts to let Him in.

So why is Easter about so much more than bunny rabbits and chocolate eggs? Easter celebrates the triumph of Jesus, God-made-man, as the culmination of His walk on the earth sees fruition through His resurrection from the grave. If Christ had not allowed Himself to be taken prisoner by the Roman authorities,to be beaten and mocked by soldiers He could have called a legion of angels to defend Himself from, to be nailed to a cross to die an ignominious death, to have suffered the humiliation, pain, and torture of that death as a sacrifice for all of us, when He Himself was perfect and required no sacrifice on His own behalf, then there would be no hope for salvation for the rest of humanity.

In order for the promise of Easter to be true, Christ has to be the divine living as a man, dying as a perfect man for the sins of all, rising as a triumphant God who has set all sinners who are willing to believe free, and making Himself continually accessible for those believers through the strength of His Holy Spirit made available through the gift of grace.

Easter celebrates the faith that lets us believe without seeing. It celebrates the truth that the omnipotent God, whom no one can fully understand, makes Himself available to us in multiple, wondrous ways that open to us as easily as the plastic, pastel eggs that will hold prizes and candy on Sunday morning, as long as we open our arms in faith and believe.

Yes, Christmas celebrates the miraculous birth of God-made-man. But Easter celebrates the awesome gift of grace that became available when that same man rose from the grave to offer salvation to all who believe.

Have you accepted this gift of grace? Does your life reflect an Easter-every-day attitude? You don’t have to wait until this Sunday to accept the gift of grace and live the kind of love that spreads that gift to the rest of your world.

Now, that’s something to celebrate.

Christian Living, Christianity

How One Vowel Can Change Your Life

Posted on March 17, 2013March 17, 2013 by Ramona Levacy Billingslea

Within the last couple of weeks, I had the pleasure/challenge of spending some time at one of the happiest places on earth, otherwise known as Disneyland. Along with all the wonderful sights of the magic land, I also got to witness up close and personal the bare truth of the mass of humanity: crying children, frustrated parents, bickering spouses, selfish line jumpers, immodest dressers. Fortunately, I also got to witness the happy side of being human, the smiles, laughter, fun and acts of kindness a happy atmosphere generates that are all part of the reason so many people are willing to open their wallets, literally, and partake in the wonderful world of Disney.

Once I got home and had time to decompress and reflect on my time in the “land,” I was struck by the awesomeness of the love that God has for us, all of us, even in our frustrated or downright mean moments, a love so strong and all-encompassing that He sent Jesus, His Son, God-made-man, to sacrifice Himself so that we might be saved. How short did I fall standing in the long line waiting to ride Space Mountain from loving the people around me as Jesus loved them, even the bored kids swinging on the aisle chains despite being told by park authorities and their parents not to? As I was soaking in the bright colors of the varied architecture and the sightings of costumed characters from various cartoon movies, did I once take time to think about the opportunities before me to love people I would likely never see again?

The answer is, of course I didn’t. I was too busy trying to get the most out of my $300 tickets, too concentrated on not giving into the exhaustion of going and going for 15 hours straight each day in order to get the most out of this opportunity to experience something I don’t normally get to experience.

Today at church, I learned a new way of looking at opportunities like the ones I missed at Disneyland. The elder speaking to us before the offering plate was passed around encouraged us to begin to think about the power of changing just one vowel in our self-talk, making the word “got” to “get.” In other words, I have “got” to be nice to strangers, even when they are rude, becomes I “get” to be nice to strangers because I understand how much God loves even me, a sinner. When I have been forgiven, how can I not also be forgiving? Why wouldn’t I want to grab hold of the opportunities afforded to every Christian to spread the grace that is the only gift we don’t do anything to deserve?

This shift from “got” to GET is profound. GET is something we want to do. GET is special. GET holds promise. GET is going to Disneyland!

In the last few weeks, I have been concentrating more and more on the spiritual practice and practices that bring us closer to God. We are only saved by the grace of God, not because of anything we do, but that in no way means that what Christians do or do not isn’t important. In fact, we can argue from the Bible that professing Christians are expected to bear fruit, to strive to be in the Spirit and not of the flesh. For those Christians who are not striving to do these things, GET is not likely to be in their vocabulary. But it can be with just the shifting of a single vowel.

Paul implores the Galatians, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers” (6:7-10).

In this season leading to the greatest holiday of all, Easter, the celebration that He lives, that Christ has risen, we GET to reap the benefits of His love. We GET to share that gift of grace with those who may never have heard about it before. We GET to sow the fruit of the Spirit, which is love, faithfulness, goodness, peace, joy, kindness, patience, meekness, self-control. We GET to be Christ to the world.

Change got to GET this week. The life you change may not just be your own.

Christian Living, Christianity

Are You Really In It?

Posted on March 12, 2013March 12, 2013 by Ramona Levacy Billingslea

Last week, I discussed how we are not meant to “know” God through any capability on our part, that is through any ability in relation to what we humans refer to as wisdom. Human wisdom is generally limited to what we can see, hear, touch, or “prove” in one of our scientific experiments.

Paul discusses this truth in his first letter to the Corinthians, a church founded in a city with one of the worst reputations of its era. In his first letter to these challenged believers, Paul also has to address the level of growth these Christians were experiencing, or lack thereof.

The admonitions Paul gives the Corinthians are quite understandable. What an easy trap lay before these believers to fall into: if you lived in the most carnal city of your time, wouldn’t it be hard to release yourself from the carnal nature of everyday life that surrounded you, even once you had accepted Jesus into your heart? Wouldn’t it also be just as tempting to think you were doing just fine because when you looked around you, it wouldn’t take much to do better than just about anybody else you chose to compare yourself to?

Paul’s words to the Corinthians apply to any Christian at any point and time in their Christian walk, for we are all meant to grow in Christ, not just rest on the laurels of belief. Growth takes practice, work, prayer, study, fellowship and faith–all of which can be encroached upon by the demands and temptations of the world in which we live. That is one reason why we are so often encouraged to be in the world but not of the world.

Here, then, is how Paul lays out his arguments against giving in to the flesh for his Corinthian audience. First, he gives the foundation of “proof” for the difference between worldly wisdom and the Spiritual knowing that is our gift when we accept Jesus as our Lord.

“For to us God revealed them [the things eye has not seen nor ear heard of verse 2:9] through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God,” Paul writes (2:10). He goes on to explain that, just as only the spirit of a person can truly know the person, so too the Spirit of God is all-knowing of God. Paul concludes, “Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God (2:12).

To the non-believer, the person who has not received this Spirit, what Christians like Paul talk about seems like “foolishness” (2:14). However, for those who believe, the Spirit’s wisdom is the basis for potentially wonderful growth, helping the believer live more of the Spirit than of the world.

Alas, the Corinthians, in a world filled with corruption and temptation (sound familiar?), were really struggling not to be of that world. Their spiritual growth was so stunted, in fact, that Paul was writing to them to encourage them to get back on the road to growing spiritually. He explains how he had begun them on “spiritual milk,” knowing that they were not ready for the “solid food” gospel (3:2). And despite the time they had had in the Spirit, the Corinthians were still not ready for solid food: “for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?” (3:3).

Because the Corinthians lived in a reality much like our own, the challenges they faced and the ways that Paul addresses those challenges give modern-day Christians many valuable lessons to learn from studying the two letters Paul wrote to this troubled church. Perhaps this first lesson is one of the most important of all. If we fail to mature to solid food, how can we hope to achieve good fruit for the work of Christ, work to which we were called the moment we accepted the gift of grace?

We only know God through the Spirit that enters us when we step out in faith. But once we take that step of faith, we still have an obligation to ourselves and to God to work to be good shepherds of the present of grace Christ so freely gave to us. Being in the world but not of it is a daily struggle, one we may never master. It is also a skill we will only master with the help of the One who sacrificed all and who deserves the submission of our complete will. When we are in the world but not of the world, surely fruitful things will happen for the heavenly kingdom.

Christian Living, Faith

Can’t Think Yourself Out Of This Box

Posted on March 3, 2013 by Ramona Levacy Billingslea

In my life group, we’ve been looking at how the discoveries in science, including the Big Bang Theory, actually support the Biblical account of how the world came to be. Still, scientists want to deny that the Bible could be in any way factual. In fact, some of them stretch their theories beyond the realm of good science just to disprove the possibility that the Bible is right.

But, any arguments about the validity of the Bible in connection with the understandings of the scientific mind miss the point entirely. Believing to the point of knowing is not a matter of mathematical equations or refined physics, but completely in the realm of faith. Faith is not something subject to the scientific method. It truly is beyond all understanding, and it is everything.

Paul explains this truth in his first letter to the Corinthians: “For the word of the cross,” he writes, “is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (1:18). We are not going to know about the truth of Christ on the cross because we have scientific or archealogical proof. We have to take on faith the truth of our salvation through Christ’s sacrifice.

“For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not come to know God,” Paul continues, “God was well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe” (1 Corinthians 1:21–bold added). We will not know God through our own knowledge or wisdom, but through our belief in a message that will seem foolish to those who want to rely solely on wisdom, on the things they can see, hear or touch.

Faith doesn’t put us in a box, actually, but frees us to live life to the full, just as Christ wanted for us: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). Faith allows us to reach out to others without fear of being ridiculed. If we are ridiculed in the name of Christ, what is that to those who believe? Faith allows us to love unconditionally as we are loved by God. Faith gives us the patience to seek the daily practice that brings us ever closer to God and the fruit of the Spirit, that is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

While faith frees us, it also puts us in a box from which we cannot be shaken: “having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise” (Ephesians 1:13). Like the Nicole Nordemann song that asks, “What if you’re wrong, what if there’s more,” through faith we “jump, just close [our] eyes,” knowing that the “arms that catch [us], catch [us] by surprise” (What If?).

No matter how you process information best (through hearing, seeing, or doing), faith, the great equalizer, brings us all to the same conclusion: there is a God who loved us enough to die for us. What a wonderful gift to open each morning, knowing that our stumbles are forgiven and that we can begin again.